Well there are the moments that can define me like my marriage, my education, my children, my employment. These moments are public, I share them with others, through family, social media, in fact these moments define me to others. . I am at a time in my life where I question what defines me to myself? If we know we’re a fraud or a fake we’ll never be comfortable in our own skin. The moments that define us to ourselves, often unnoticed by others, are manifold, but here is a list of some that strike me as most influential, as most defining.
1) Death and what I thought about my life, what I have done and what I need to do to make my dreams come true and live the life I know that I am fully capable to live. I lost my father to cancer and to watch a such strong person in my life succumb to an illness like lung cancer was definitely a life altering event. How I worked through the grief and loss was something personal, I am still working through it and I get help and support from family and friends and that is a definite bonus but my strength comes from the Creator and with prayer.
2) Becoming more responsible for my actions and emotions.
It is hard to admit my own wrong doings and take responsibility for the part I played in some of my life challenges. Knowing I’m not perfect and that I have made mistakes and being able to own up to them and be real. Forgiving myself and forgiving others regardless of whether have apologized or not.
3) Pushing myself to get healthy both with nutrition and exercise.
I was always physically active in school and once I started having children that went out the window. Like I said before about death, I have no control over when my time will come but I want to start being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle. This has been a tough journey and one that I continue to work at. I have failed more times than I can count but I keep at it. I am someone that wants overnight success and with the physical aspect that just won’t happen overnight. So I continue to plug away at it. It has definitely helped me as a stress reliever and that is a positive.
4) Leaving and abusive marriage, I was in a 10 year relationship and was blessed with 6 wonderful children. Walking away from my previous marriage was one of the hardest things I had to do. I did not know what the future held for myself or my children all I knew was I had to have faith that things were going to get better and they have 10 times over. I went back to school, raised my children and step children as best I could, allowed myself to find love again and I am employed in a field and with an organization that allows me to give back and help families who are facing struggles in their own lives. When I look back it don’t recognize that person (me) anymore, it is a chapter I am done writing.
Working on my emotional strength, courage and discipline. When you make yourself aware that certain difficulties are inevitable, you can prepare yourself mentally for confronting adversity. Another inner resource is faith. Faith that everything will work out; faith that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and faith that "this too shall pass." Everything in life has its place and purpose.
Having asupport systemof family and friends. When the going gets tough, we all need encouragement and support. We need someone to talk to; someone to help ease the burden.
Decide whether you will allow your experience to make, or break you. Depending upon how you choose to perceive it, it could go either way.
My name is Marge Wichihin, I am a 42 year old married mother of 8, 6 are my own from a previous marriage and 2 are my step sons. I have been married for 8 years to my soul mate. We have been through thick and thin together and I couldn’t imagine life without my huge family. I graduated from SIIT with my diploma in Community Services-Addictions and have been working in the social work field for nearly 10 years.
I am from the James Smith Cree Nation just 58 kms east of Prince Albert. I have lived in Prince Albert, Melfort, Regina and Saskatoon for the majority of my life. I could say we were a gypsy family in my younger days.
I wanted to participate for a few reasons 1) to support my friend and upcoming designer Stephanie Gamble and C.Lysias Designs 2) at my age it was to try something new, something I haven’t done before and to feel comfortable with myself. 3) To share my story and to help inspire others not only our youth but mothers and single mothers, mothers/woman who were in a domestic violent relationship or still are, mothers who are struggling to make ends meet and raise their children. I want them to know it can be done, you can leave and survive and thrive!